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Dani said...

Dani said...

After a long, wet journey out to partly picturesque Bregenz at the most God-forsaken end of Austria the estimated 400+ travelling Austria Salzburg supporters contributed to a total crowd of 1400 and were treated to the first defeat of the season – in the cold and the rain, and at 5-1 the biggest league defeat I can remember since the re-founding of the club.

Sounds like a great time was had by all. Having once again chickened out of a long and miserable trip to the middle of nowhere in return for the delights of a late breakfast in the comfort of my favourite tavern, I knew by around 12.00 midday that I was as likely to get in the car and onto the motorway in the direction of Switzerland, as a cat is of shitting on demand. There is a cat that has chosen to use one part of my garden as a perfect spot to deposit its digested solids, but I don’t suppose you don’t read these reports to hear about my problems.
The original plan had been for six of us to set off in the morning to enjoy a day out at the lake – go off for a stroll, have an ice cream, grab a coffee, maybe hire a rowing boat for half an hour, sink the odd beer and then make our way to the football ground to see the heroes of Austria Salzburg give the far western hillbillies of Bregenz a lesson in cultured football – or so we thought. By Thursday afternoon the weather reports for Saturday in Vorarlberg had set their hearts on torrential rain, followed by driving rain, followed by squalls, sheets of rain, drizzle, downpours, cats and dogs etc.
So after quickly consulting with Mikko we arranged to meet up for breakfast and see what the weather would be like. No sun – no trip out to Bregenz. Yes, we are a perfect example of what are known as ‘fair weather fans’. Apparently, according to Dani, the drive to Bregenz only took 3 hours. I’d envisaged a 6-hour slog with traffic jams caused by tourists from all over Europe abusing the Austrian motorway network in the hope of escaping the rain or chasing the sun, but it wasn’t all that bad - so I heard.
All I knew was that Bregenz has quite a nice ground and that they went bust a few years ago and had to reboot starting in the fifth division. Dani said the catering had been quite good too. In fact, apart from the official Austria Salzburg mouthpiece propaganda and the somewhat dry and abstract reports supplied on the SFV website, I don’t have much to go on. So in order to give my report a touch of credibility I have chosen to preface every statement with ‘Dani said’.
Dani said: In the first half we were more or less as good as Bregenz, but we didn’t seem to have much luck near their goal. In the first few minutes the referee obviously looked to stamp him authority on the game with a yellow for Karahasanovic on 6 minutes – for dissent.
Dani said: Not much happened in the first quarter of an hour and it was a frustrating game to watch. Maybe the frustration got to Mr Harry Hirsch, who is a great player but keeps picking up cards, when he took out some legs without taking the ball and saw yellow. A couple of chances on either side didn’t amount to anything until Bregenz finally broke the deadlock on 31 minutes which came as a result of one of our unbelievable creative free kicks that went unbelievably wrong. 1-0 to Bregenz after a goal by Breitenberger. After that we were chasing the game and things got a bit more bad tempered. Austria Salzburg began to pour on the pressure but at half time the score was still 1-0.
Dani didn’t say what he did at half time, but I’m sure he went to whatever VIP area Bregenz had organised to shake hands with lots of players and important business people to see if they need any computer infrastructure, because when it comes to doing business – Dani means business.
‘Should I serve the roast pork now sir or should we wait until you have finished the caviar and the mushroom volavonts?’
As always, the second half began with the score the same as when the first half ended. This must be more than a coincidence. Dani, having finished handing out his business cards, collecting autographs and stuffing pork chops into his coat pockets, went over and told the referee he could restart the game.
Dani said: The second half started badly for the Austria with yellow for a badly timed tackle by Schmidt on 49 minutes, followed by another goal by Plattner for Bregenz to make it 2-0. A second yellow for Hirsch for dissent and Austria Salzburg were two down with only ten men. With adrenaline levels pumped up Austria took advantage of the chaos and, Dani said, out of nowhere Marko Vujic closed the gap to make it 2-1 and get us back in the game. However, from that point on reality seems to have set in. Without the extra man the Austria found themselves increasingly open to attacks and legs started to tire. Lubo made room for Märzendorfer on 59 minutes and two minutes later Wührer was on for Borozni.
Dani said: Apart from a shot from Wührer the chances of drawing level were increasingly rare and on 67 minutes the Austria defence was caught going for the equaliser and paid the price. Plattner, 3-1 for Bregenz and from then on it was just a case of damage limitation. Even so, Bregenz pushed it up to 4-1 and 5-1 to make the long journey back to Salzburg as miserable and dark as possible – Dani said.
SC Bregenz - SV Austria Salzburg 5:1 (1:0)
Austria Salzburg play with:
Huber; Kreuzwirth, Schmidt, Milic, Hirsch; Borozni (61. Wührer), Kletzl (75. Winkler), Reifeltshammer, Neubauer (59. Märzendorfer), N. Mayer; Vujic
1-0: Breitenberger (31.)
2-0: Plattner (49.)
2-1: Vujic (53.) (Assist: Kreuzwirth)
3-1: Plattner (67.)
4-1: Umjenovic (79.)
5-1: Plattner (95.)
Shots: Bregenz 13 / Austria 9
Shots on target: Bregenz 6 / Austria 5
Shots blocked: Bregenz 2 / Austria 1
Corners: Bregenz 5 / Austria 2
Fouls: Bregenz 20 / Austria 21
Offsides: Bregenz 3 / Austria 1
Yellow cards:
Bregenz: 3 (Karahasanovic, 6./criticism; Feuerstein, 38./foul; Plattner, 91./unsporting behaviour)
Austria: 4 (Hirsch, 17./foul; Schmidt, 49./foul; Mayer, 56./foul; Märzendorfer, 84./foul)
Bregenz: 0
Austria: 1 (Hirsch, 49./criticism)
Bregenz, Casinostadion, 1400 spectators
Ref: Gerhard Schächl; Assistants: Mirko Ostojic, Midhat Taletovic

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