At least this time there was a real sunny day, not a phantom thing like in Seekirchen. With nothing more to play for than our pride this season the prospect of a stress-free run-in in the late spring / early summer weeks is not entirely unpleasant, but nor is it conducive to hard work and focussed development.
This season Marko Vujic has scored 1 million goals, making him fairly important for our chances of winning games. Like three years ago when Mersudin Jukic made all our bad games look good on paper – after the fact, Vujic turns a 0-0 into a 1-0 and nobody asks any questions when looking back on the nature of a win. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be seen, neither in the starting line-up, nor on the bench. Knackered adductors (look it up for yourselves: http://www.realbodywork.com/learn/hip/adductor.htm). Schriebl was also being rested up on the bench, so we started without our born goal scorer and our hold-up striker.
If you want to look on the positive side you could say it was a great chance for the other players to showcase their goal scoring abilities. Problem is, if only one player ever scores the goals, nobody else can remember how to score. The last goal that wasn’t scored by Marko Vujic or Mersudin Jukic was scored by Mario Schleindl in 2009 and the other was scored by Olli Trappl in 2006, back when we were young and sport was fun.
Bregenz are not as desperate for points as Seekirchen and came with their 15 or so hardest-of-hardcore drinking buddies, who already had problems distinguishing the teams when the cam on to the field. A four or five-hour alcotrip from the furthest corner of Austria is a great opportunity to forget yourself. Even if they limited themselves to one beer an hour, that was five before they got here.
Bregenz started like a good team with nothing at stake. We started like a team that wanted to raise the stakes, but couldn’t. If you don’t read any further, that was the story of the game. We put a lot of effort into getting into their box, but there was no one to have a whack. Everyone wanted to play the perfect set-up pass, but nobody wanted to be accused of being greedy; the result being no result. By the time we put shots in Bregenz were back behind the ball. They played tidy enough football without looking to be a real threat. If I’d been asked after 15 minutes I’d have tipped us to win 1-0.
That is the reason I don’t bet, because although Bregenz’s Gomes had seen yellow on 20 minutes, he fouled our Mr Hirsch hard on 32 minutes and could have gone then. Before we had got ourselves sorted Bregenz had the ball again and Gomes put Bregenz ahead. I didn’t see the gesture he made to the crowd, but our lot were not happy on the other end of the stand and if it was provocation, he could have gone for that as well. Obviously begging for it, finally going for silly-diving after making out Hirsch had tried to kill him. Off you go – enough damage done!
We had more of the game after that, but it was like drinking a barrel of beer with a straw. So much beer to be drunk, but we couldn’t drink any faster because of it. Bregenz were looking to spoil the game, their mob were looking to ruin their health. At half time I bet none of them knew they were 1-0 in front, sunbathing in their alcoholic stupor like lions in the Serengeti, but without the accompaniment of international TV producers. By the time the second half started some of the Bregenz fans were no longer able to find their way 20 yards back to the fence behind the goal they had been allocated. As usual, the police hung around like bored rangers in a nature reserve, knowing they’d be paid whether they had to sedate a lion or not.
Second half. Pavlovic on for Kircher. A bit later Schriebl for Winkler. We had even more of the game in the second half but I couldn’t see where our goals were going to come from as we continued with our policy of long shots and complicated build-ups. As it was one of those days when all my predictions are cock-ups, all I had to say was ‘their keeper looks unspectacular but safe’, which was like the death knell for his luck as he played a perfect bad pass to Nico Mayer, who netted from 40 metres out. 1-1 and another goal without a build-up. 1-1 all the same.
Although Bregenz had one or two chances, it was going our way, so of course I said, ‘They don’t look like a team that is going to get another goal’. At that moment you could hear a gate opening somewhere in the cosmic scheme of things and on 82 minutes I had put the point out of reach again – as Bregenz’s Yasar slipped past our defence and slotted the ball into the far corner. 1-2. At this moment the lions of the Serengeti became the apes of... – wherever apes come from or go to, and I noticed there was one Jane Goodall kind of girl with them; maybe analysing them, so that we can understand ourselves better. Anyway, they were climbing up and down the fence, making loud war cries and beating their chests, although I doubt if any of them actually saw the goal, let alone understood its significance, if any.
I’m sure they were all already asleep come the 94th minute when Peter ‘The Zebra’ Urbanek somehow got his hooves tangled up in a Bregenz player’s legs and in the 95th were rudely awaken by the roar of the local herds and hordes as Alex Schriebl converted the penalty. 2-2 full time!
Sithi!
Roge
SV Austria Salzburg - SC Bregenz 2-2 (0-1)
Austria Salzburg played with:
Eisl; Kreuzwirth (77. Urbanek), Winkler (61. Schriebl), Hirsch, Kircher (46. Pavlovic); Rajic, Mayer, Seidl, Reifeltshammer, Federer; Wührer
Goals:
0-1: Maciel Gomes (33.)
1-1: Mayer (65.)
1-2: Yasar (87.)
2-2: Schriebl (95., penalty) (Assist: Urbanek)
Shots total: Austria 25 / Bregenz 10
Shots on target: Austria 10 / Bregenz 3
Shots blocked: Austria 3 / Bregenz 1
Corners: Austria 11 / Bregenz 0
Fouls: Austria 15 / Bregenz 19
Offsides: Austria 1 / Bregenz 1
Yellow cards:
Austria: 1 (Schriebl, 69./unsporting behaviour)
Bregenz: 2 (Maciel Gomes, 20./unsporting behaviour; Erbek, 94./criticism)
Gelb/Rot:
Austria: 0
Bregenz: 1 (Maciel Gomes, 36./unsporting behaviour)
Salzburg-Maxglan, MyPhone-Austria-Stadion, 1150 specators
Ref: Michael Daxauer; Assistants: Daniel Bramböck, Franz Schinagl
