There’s a saying in Austria: you always meet twice in life, which is more or less comparable with ‘what goes around – comes around’. Having experienced what it’s like to lose in Bürmoos it was time for revenge, so to speak. Like most of the people who went to the Bürmoos game in Bürmoos, I didn’t actually see Wolfgang Reitsamer spit at anybody, but that seemed to be the crux of the matter for the 1150 fans in Maxglan on Sunday 3rd May.


In fact we’d forgotten that it was Severin Streitwieser who’d spoiled our day by snuffing out any constructive play in midfield, and by scoring the decisive goal. We’d also forgotten that it was our own inadequacies that had cost us the game and not the antics, fouls or activities of the Bürmoos players; we just can’t play good football on small pitches. We’d also forgotten that we were the worst party guests since the Russians took Grosny a few years ago.
 
Anyway, that said, Wolfgang Reitsamer looks like a cross between Charles Bronson, Starsky and John MacEnroe, and if he had a time machine he could travel back in time with his headband and curly mop to 1973, and nobody would know he had come from 2009. Having read the banners awaiting him up on the terraces he probably wished he was still in 1973. However, 1973 was a bad year as Leeds United lost the FA cup final against Sunderland, but I don’t want to blame Reitsamer for that, too.
 
As Mr Lassacher had ensured a number of our best players would have to be rested, Austria Salzburg started the game with a few changes; no Rottensteiner and no Trappl. Instead we played Stefan Huber, who is not the tallest goalkeeper in the world. Call me old fashioned, but a goalkeeper that I can look down on is a small goalkeeper.
 
And so it came to pass… Somewhere out in the universe someone is responsible for steering our fates in such a way as to enable us to make sense of events, of chaos, by using deductive and inductive logic. Inductive logic would tell you that it is more likely to concede goals against small keepers than big ones. Common sense would tell you that if you kick a dog it will bite you; so it was no surprise that in the 17th minute Wolfgang Reitsamer was so fired up that when he got to the ball he banged it with all his might in the direction of the smallest goalie since Bruce Grobelaar played at infant school. A looping but no means unreachable shot found its way over Stefan Huber’s little head and after having dominated the opening minutes Austria Salzburg found themselves behind yet again. 0-1 Bürmoos.
 
If Wolfgang Reitsamer wanted to show he was above things like petty insults and was not the beast he was made out to be, then the ***k you sign he sent in the direction of the Austria fans in full view of the head of local government, Gabi Burgstaller, was a clear sign he wanted to continue the feud. In other leagues, in other countries, in another world he would probably get a three match ban for crowd incitement. Let’s see what the SFV has to say about this.
 
Anyway, after that things seemed to pan out the way they should and on the broad pitch in Maxglan Bürmooses own inadequacies became more obvious. In the 25th minute Harry Potter did another bit of magic and the evil wizard, Reitsamer, was swearing at his defenders as Xandi Seywald put the Austria level again. 1-1.
 
From that moment on, although Bürmoos fought doggedly, there was no-one of enough class in their ranks to make any decisive moves and with more room in midfield it was Nico Mayer, one of this year’s outstanding players, who everybody up in the air with yet another goal of the season. 35 minutes. A cracker from about 35 yards out, which I only saw as it dipped down again and beyond Suchanek to make it 2-1 for Austria Salzburg. Brilliant. And not wanting to be outdone, now he’s established himself in the first team, a ball from his blind side flew over Lubo Neumayer and he smashed it in the back of the net with his left foot to provide another reason why he should be playing next year.
 
Going in at 3-1 the game was effectively over. Although there was the sport of Reitsamer baiting and the joy knowing the three points were as good as in the bag, with our lot you never know, and a 3-1 can soon become a 3-3. Fortunately it didn’t, as on 48 minutes Obelix, Olli Trappl put the game well and truly beyond Bürmoos at 4-1. Another fine performance from Wolfgang Wurnstl at the back meant we always had time to iron out the frailties at the back and not every cross or pass inside was a reason to panic.
 
As so often this season a player of the opposition was given acres of space out on our left defensive side, and was not picked up by any of our defenders, but it was a tribute to the lack of class in Bürmoos that none of the Bürmoos players saw the openings either. If you don’t take your chances, other people will. With this in mind Xandi Seywald latched on to a Jukic shot which already seemed to be going in and put the lid on a game only one team was ever going to win after the first 20 minutes.
 
Sorry I’m so late delivering this report but it’s been another crisis-free week of business at the office. I don’t have the time to make this report a classic, as I’ve been ordered by my girlfriend to help her best friend and her boyfriend paint their roof – at 8 o’clock in the morning on a Saturday, but you can be sure I will be in Bergheim at 2 o’clock. Some things are more important than friendship.
 
See you later,
 
Roger Lord
 
SV Austria Salzburg - SV Bürmoos 5-1 (3-1)
 
Austria Salzburg played with:
Huber; Milic, Pecaranin (10. Csenki), Würnstl, Weiss; O. Trappl, Mayer, Neubauer (72. Kluth), Rehrl; Seywald, Schleindl (46. Jukic)
 
Goals:
0-1: Reitsamer (17.)
1-1: Seywald (25.) (Assist: Schleindl)
2-1: Mayer (35.) (Assist: Neubauer)
3-1: Neubauer (43.) (Assist: Csenki)
4-1: O. Trappl (48.) (Assist: Jukic)
5-1: Seywald (80.) (Assist: Jukic)
 
Shots: Austria 19 / Bürmoos 5
Shots on target: Austria 12 / Bürmoos 2
Corners: Austria 9 / Bürmoos 4
Fouls: Austria 20 / Bürmoos 21
Abseits: Austria 4 / Bürmoos 8
 
Yellow cards:
Austria: 1 (Neubauer, 52./foul)
Bürmoos: 5 (Högler, 23./foul; Stadler, 33./foul; Suchanek, 43./foul; Streitwieser, 58./foul; Jessner, 83./foul)
 
Salzburg, Austria-Sportanlage Maxglan, 1150 spectators
Ref: Reuf Sahilovic; Assistants: Kemal Dogan, Esat Temizkan